I don't know about you, but I'm quite looking forward to seeing what kind of weird families these guys have. I've only met one guy's parents and that was before we were technically dating. I'm pretty sure they didn't like me. I can't imagine having to meet 4 different families, but I'm sure Ashely will do it in style with see-through or backless shirts from Forever 21. Because nothing says let me date your sun, by wearing interesting outfits.
Ashley does some voice overs and uses the word Love to describe Ben C. She loves his long hair. No joke...I bet she likes Constantine's too. She mentions again that Constantine is sexy and exactly what she's looking for physically in a man. Lucky for Ben C, that works for him too. She describes Ames as unique. HAHAHA. He's in the friend zone. No girl ever describes a guy she's actually into as unique. They show JP being a weakling and failing to pick her up in the rain. I like JP, but honestly he's getting far too whiney for my taste.
Ashley's off to visit Constantine's family first in Cumming, GA. I sure hope his family has great accents. Ashely is "happy as a clam" to see him. She keeps welcoming him home. I find this weird. Why would she welcome someone to their home? He's sporting a chain under his t-shirt. I'm sorry guys, but this is a no. Just say no to necklaces, earrings (unless you're a rapper or pro athlete), and bracelets.
Ashely makes a mean pb&j. Constantine is a Greek who owns an Italian restaurant. Ashley attempts to be funny by putting Constantine on her pizza. Ummm. lame. Constantine also spouts some lame lines while making salad. Constantine's family goes all out with a Welcome Home sign and balloons.
They sit down to lamb. I'd be so screwed on this date. I'd have to explain that I don't eat anything at the table. I'd be drunk from the wine due to only pushing the food around. Mom sits Ashley down and asks if Ashley is down to relocating. Uh Oh...overbearing mother that doesn't want her son to move away. Dad and son sit down for a heart to heart. Ashley gives false hope to the family and informs them that she's moving in. They are going to hate her if she dumps him.
Then it's like My Big Fat Greek Wedding and the Greeks come out to throw down. Including dancing. We all know how much Ashley loves to dance. Then some family member throws cash at people. Can I come over Constantine?
Next up we have Ame's hometown in Chads Ford, PA. He busts out a plaid shirt and runs over to greet her. Seriously. that's awkward. "This is like home to me" Ames...no shit....it is your home. They jump right in to meet the family members. Brother Jim looks way old. Once he starts losing his hair, it's not going to be pretty. Sister sits Ashley down for a heart to heart. She too has the large forehead.
"he's like an onion and you've got to keep peeling ogre" HAHA Apparently he's like Shrek. We find out that two of Ames's fathers (dad and step dad) have passed away. Seriously ABC is great about finding bachelors with a sob story. She also has to sit down with Mom. This is a rough first meet the fam. They compare love to a marathon. Apparently she's missing the romance.
Ames and Sister sit down to have a heart to heart. She's honest and tells him to step up his game. Ames takes her on the most romantic picnic in all of the world under a magnolia tree. We find out Ames wasn't smart in boarding school. She doesn't seem all that into him. Ames says "they have the most amazing kiss ever" and then they go around the grounds on a buggy and carriage. What is he? Amish?
Off to Sonoma, CA, we see Ben C and once again Ashley runs towards a guy. She says he screams sexy. Off they go for a picnic at the winery and to taste his wine. "Am I about to taste your wine today? " the mature self that I am giggled at that. They use big ass wine glasses to sample the wine. Nothing like getting wasted before meeting the fam. They have a picnic under a cabin porch. Ben's sweet. He's only brought one girl home. I like his look. He may be my new favorite now that JP is whiney.
Ashley's smart and bring flowers for his mother. I'd be nervous bringing wine to a family that makes wine for a living. They have both water and wine glasses on the table. How many families actually bust out several glasses for a typical meal? The sister apparently signed him up for the show. (Who is going to sign me up for the show?) Mom busts out pictures of the kids when they are young. This really turns into a sob fest when mom and son sit down and talk about Dad. We didn't see much interaction between Ashley and the fam. He says the L word on his voice over. He's going to end up broken hearted at the end of this. He can also call me.
Off now to visit JP in Long Island. "I didn't sleep a wink last night" JP takes Ashley to go roller skating. This would be a terrible idea for me. She talks in a baby voice to him. Then the lights dim and cheesy music plays as a disco ball turns. They do awkward turns and couple skating. They even try dancing. And making out. Ashley apparently used to be a figure skater and then JP takes a tumble. Which "was a cute fall" They go classy and drink wine out of paper cups at the skating rink. JP doesn't have any deaths in the family so he tells his sob story of how his last relationship failed. Nothing like a great date than talking about the exes.
JP says he's on a high with her and bummed when she's not around. He's sweet, but a bit much. JP is willing to risk it all to fall in love. They sit down to a family meal. JP is by far the cutest child out of his family. Once again it'd be a meal of food I wouldn't eat. Mom informs JP that she doesn't want to see his heart broken. She also asks if he's in love with her. His vague answer says there are signs leading to it. Mom sits down with Ashley and informs her that JP looks as her with love in his eyes. Ashley sounds like she's talking to a pre-schooler as she describes her feelings for Jp to his Mom. She's smitten with him. Mom then busts out a gigantic picture from his bar mitzvah. He for sure has a kirk cameron look going for him. He had a sweet mullet at 13.
Ashley sits down with her bff/therapist Chris Harrison. Chris brings up the B word...Bentley. She digs Constantine's family. She doesn't really dig Ames. They show boring clips from their date. She's so sending him home. Ben C's date was perfect. She fell in love with JP's family. Even his crazy mom.
The dress tonight with the lace back gets back to Ashley's true fashion sense of Forever 21. She surprisingly left all her backless shirts at home for the home dates. It looks like Ben C has gotten a hair cut.
Ben with the new hair gets a rose first. They keep showing awkward Ames.
JP gets the second rose and is beaming. How many guys beam?
And last but not least, Constantine gets the final rose.
Ames the ogre goes home tonight. He looks shocked and surprised. Like he's really not sure what to do as he looks from side to side. He wants to sit down with Ash and talk it out. Ashley tries to soften the blow, and Ames kind of blubbers but is so nice to her for him to just have gotten his heart broken. "He's going to remember every second of it for the rest of his life" ummm really? He tries not to cry on camera. He really does seem like a nice guy. He wonders what it was. I totally called it. She said the word unique. You don't use that word to describe a boyfriend. I hope you find love, too, Ames.
It's back to world traveling and Ashely and the boys are off to Fiji. I wonder how many time "I'm falling for so and so" will be said next week. They show fake drama between JP and Ashley, but I'm betting we'll be disappointed. And apparently there will be an unexpected guest. Two more weeks people. Let the madness continue!
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