After taking a week off, I'm ready to continue on this train wreck as Ashley searches for true love in foreign countries. Apparently this tv show has become a great travel brochure for "the perfect places to fall in love".
Tonight we're in Taiwan. It's apparently the hidden jewel of Asia. This surprises me. I know about Taiwan due to the fact it's stamped on 90% of any household product.
Chris Harrison plays history channel and tells us it's the 100th anniversary of Taiwan, and explains the rules again. This is getting old; Hasn't this show been on forever? If you don't know how it works, you've been living in a cave for years.
JP doesn't want other guys to go on dates with Ashley. He's become one of those people on the show. I'm sorry JP, you are ridiculously cute, but that's how this game goes.
Constantine gets the one on one date. JP is crushed and is ready to propose. They start the romantic date on an awkward steam engine ride. Ashley things going to tiny villages is a perfect places to wear sky high heels, backless shirt, and skin tight jeans. I mean to each their own, but Ashely sure seems to shop at Forever 21 far too much. Trendy is her middle name. He "holds her hand and touches her leg and the date is off to a great start".
Seriously; how does she walk her jeans? It's a love lantern festival. Luckily it just so happens there's a lantern for our lovely couple waiting for them. They write their love wishes.
Meanwhile, the home boys back at the hotel get the next date card. Ben gets a one-on-one date. Ryan still doesn't get a one-on-one date. Mr. Sunshine is starting to lose his sun. And is growing some terrible hair/facial hair combo.
Constantine apparently has a big family. I hope we see his home. I want to know if his family has terrible hair cuts too. Physically he's exactly what Ashley is attracted to. So yes, she has a thing for 90s hair. They zoom in on his sweet bracelets that I wore in junior high because Jennifer Aniston wore them. Yes, he loves the 90s. I give props to Constantine for saying if he falls in love. Had he been a girl, he would have already word vomited out the L word. They release their love wish lantern, and music awkwardly plays as they make out. Ashley saw some things "she loves in Constantine" She will use the L word to describe things. He's getting a rose, I bet.
Ben meets Ashley on a cliff where she's sporting a long tank, short jeans, and shockingly tennis shoes . They are exploring the park in sweet helmets and on a moped. Ben says "they are going places"
Adventurous sounding music play as they ride around. Ben is ridiculously cheesy. Of course they find a great bridge to walk around and make out.
Home boys receive another date card. Sunshine is nervous. Lucas, Ames, and JP are on the group date. Mr. Sunshine is finally getting his one-on-one. He may explode he's so excited. I can't believe he didn't jump on the couch.
Woah. Ben is the first to say he's "falling in love with Ashley" He's going to word vomit out the L word. They have big ass glasses of wine. I think Ashley insults the wine guy by saying it's like his wine. Ben plays confident and says he'll share more about wine on the home town date next week. He dances around basically telling Ashley he loves her. He's word vomiting left and right. I dig the color of Ashley's dinner dress. Ashley likes the word vomit and they have awkward kisses then move to making out by a fire. Oh...I don't like the bottom of her dress. Another Forever 21 dress.
The next morning, Ben is still on his date with Ashley. JP is crushed, and the other guys are disappointed. Hello Shacker! He comes in looking sheepish. I'm sure Ashley's mom is so proud...They say they didn't share a room. Somehow that's doubtful to me. I like Ben; he's rocking a seersucker blazer.
On the group date, Ashley has an exciting day planned of taking fake wedding photos. In the real world, these guys would take off running. This is reality TV, so they aren't.
Lucas is rocking a Chinese MuMu, Ames is in an amazing 70s blue tux, and JP comes out in and a little bit too big black tux. Ames and Lucas aren't happy with their outfit choices. Ashley wants to know if they are going to look cute in wedding photos. That's what I think when I meet a guy....will he look good in wedding photos.
Lucas is a bit stiff and isn't a great smiler. Their kiss is awkward during the photo, and JP looks like he's about to fight. He doesn't understand the concept of the show.
Ames and Ashley are literally kissing in a Tree.
Ashley in a terrible 80s dress and tiara and JP take their wedding photos. JP isn't into it, and just wants ashley to himself. Once again he doesn't understand the concept of how this show works.
Ashley is surprised the guys didn't have as much fun as she thought they would. Ummm what kind of dates does she go on typically? I don't know of any guys that would find that date fun. I do like her green dress. Lucas says he felt foolish watching her in a beautiful white dress with JP. Beautiful isn't a word I'd use to describe that white wedding dress. Lucas misses the simple life of being married. They make out, but I'm not 100% sure she's that into him.
Ames shows off family photos. He came prepared. We find out he was unpopular until he was 16. He probably started fake tanning then. He's kind of like a giggly school girl when he talks to her. I do give him a thumbs up for his nantucket red pants. I may dig preppy clothes....
JP basically says he's not doing great with being on the show. He throws out there that Ben got an overnight dates. He was fishing for an answer. He seems like the jealous type, but he's cute. He gets the rose from Ashley. It's official, we're meeting JP's family next week. And they make out. I can't say I've ever made out with multiple guys in one night. That may have just made my bucket list.
Mr. Sunshine runs to great Ashley on their first date. She's wearing one of those split back shirts from Forever 21, that I just don't get. I'm surprised she's in flats and not in wedges or heels. Ryan talks 90 to nothing about how excited he is. Ashley says the word "amazing" several times as they watch people praying to different gods. Mr. Sunshine finds it so romantic and intimate. I'm not so sure that's what I'd called the experience. They make wishes to the match making god and basically take a crap shot to see if it comes true. Sadly, their wishes won't come true. Awkward....
The date continues on to some steps to watch people do Tai Chi. This date would be so boring for me. Mr. Sunshine is talking a crap ton of nonsense about Tai Chi. Ashley admits she doesn't feel that romantic connection there. This date is awkward. Ashley has a terrible fake smile on. She's now trying to figure out how to break it off with Mr. Sunshine without him pulling a scary upset fit on her. He seems the type, admit it.
It "exceeds all of Mr. Sunshine's expectations". They sit down to a picnic. More awkward faces from Ashley. He asks her what she does for the environment. Ashley admits she's a rebel for throwing away a plastic bottle. Ryan gives her a lesson on water heaters. Ashley attempts to look interested, but is failing. Ryan informs her, he can't wait for her to meet his family. Cue awkward face and sad music. Ashley cries and informs him that "she's her perfect guy, but is not feeling a connection" Mr. Sunshine's face is crumbling. Oh dear, he's trying not to cry. Well, the match making gods were correct in not granting his love wish. He 'didn't see this coming'...I did. He should've looked at her face. He sits down a spell and has a good cry. It's ok buddy; There's someone out there that will enjoy jumping on couches with you. Ryan wants real never ending love. I do too, but I also know love most likely isn't found on a reality TV dating show. The make him hail a cab back to the hotel.
Ashley's BFF/Therapist, Chris Harrison sits Ashley down for a little chat. Ashley informs Chris that she doesn't want a cocktail party because she's made up her decision. Obviously Ashley doesn't understand the fun of an open bar. The producers must hate this because cocktail parties end up with drunken contestants and fun drama.
Lucas is worried, and I think he should be. I'm pretty positive that he is going home and that he knows it. Chris tries to help the guy's ego by telling them that this was a tough decision as Ashley looks over a bridge and walks by.
Constantine, Ben, and Ames all get a rose. Lucas gives a cute scrunched nose look to Ashley. JP informs Ames that he did not expect that. Ames did not like to hear that. Lucas is a true Southern gentleman and goes out with class. Ashley doubts her decision, but at least she hasn't said the name Bentley tonight. Next week, we meet the families. Hopefully it will be interesting.
Chris Harrison gives a Bachelor update as informs America that sometimes the engagements on this show don't work out.....ummm no crap. Emily, aka Barbie, has gotten even smaller. I didn't know that was possible. She gets out of the limo crying. Emily will always be in love with Brad....Really? I don't think so otherwise you two would be married. It sounds as if Bachelor Brad was a cheater and couldn't really handle being in a relationship. Well, what a shocker. Another bachelor relationship is officially over. If they bring her back as the Bachelorette, shoot me now.
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