No time for a pity party tonight because tonight this train wreck comes to an end. I can't wait to see Ashley cry. Should we take bets how long it will be before they are no longer together? The episode is prefaced as "the episode we've all been waiting for as Ashley faces the biggest moment of her life" Picking a husband on a tv show is a big deal. Let's watch Ashley make out with two guys and then the next day agree to marry one of them.
Ashley is so confident in these two guys. I think I'd be rather confused if I was dating two guys at once. Ashley calls Ben unique. Uh oh. What did we learned with Ames? Ben will not get the final rose. It's ok Ben, if you are reading this I'm willing to date you.
Ashley doesn't seem to fit in with her family. Her brother is in thug chains and her sister is in all black, with black dyed hair with tons of tattoos. I think she may be the one that broke up Sandra Bullock and that gross tattoo guy she married.
Ashley is for sure ready to get engaged, but she doesn't have her mind made up. Really? REALLY? I mean come on! I think if you can't decide between what guy you want to get engaged to then maybe you shouldn't be getting engaged.
First up we have JP to meet the fam. He's a good boy and brings wine. He's also being daring by going with white loafers.
Mom "You look like a nice gentleman" Brother Elliot is for sure mean mugging as JP is talking. Mom welcomes JP to the family as they all sit down for lunch. With wine. This makes me want a vacation.
Sister asks "Ashley is smitten. Are You smitten?" She also decides to get awkward and ask: "Ashley does he make you laugh?" Sister is kind of a bitch. She tells Ashley that he's not the one. Mom disagrees and says "She's OK with him" hahahaha nothing says romance like your parents saying you seem ok with your boyfriend. Ashley is a "bit too much for him" Nothing like sisterly love.
Did her family like Brad? I don't remember and we all know how well that ended. All signs still point to JP because her family doesn't like him and her "heart is broken" and she can't decide to go with "her heart or her head" Heart says JP and her head says Ben is more practical.
Brother is now rocking a couple of shell necklaces. JP and Sister sit down to talk, and she straight says that she's skeptical of their relationship and that she just doesn't see the two of them together. If she was a really wanting to be a sister then she should've told her sister that finding love on tv is a terrible idea. Making people laugh is apparently a big deal to her sister. Sister calls out JP for being old, and wants to know why he hasn't find someone. Wow sister is a huge bitch. I hate that question. I hope I don't get that as I'm 30 and still single. Sister says she hasn't seen a connection, and then throws it in JP's face that Ashley seemed happier when she brought Brad home.
JP is pissed. I don't blame him. This meet the family is scary. Maybe I don't want to meet anyone's family. JP gets whiney and says "It isn't fair" Ashley says she needs the approval of other people. This makes me laugh. No joke. She fishes for compliments like nobody's business.
"If she doesn't want to be with me, then i'm definitely not proposing." Well, I would hope he's smarter than that. I like to think that every guy feels that way.
Ashley thinks it's time for a sisterly talk before Ben comes over. Her sister says "rational person" so much. Sister throws Bentley in her face. Ashley then tells her sister that she's crazy if she's judging her with how she felt when she brought Brad home. Point Ashley. Ashley then cries and calls her sister a bitch. This makes me glad I don't have a sister. Sister once again calls herself a "rational person" as she vents to mom. She like Ashley, can't drop the freaking Bentley thing. I would like to say that 90% of people have been wrong before when it comes to talking about "the one".
Now Ben gets to meet the fam. He too bring wine. Ashley's brother and sister continue to wear weird stupid necklaces. Ben's sister and mom go into town to have tea. Seriously....Ben....give me a call. I feel like Ashley is being too much to put on a show for her sister. Apparently she needs Ben to stand and talk in his "dog voice" for her family. Can I slap Ashley? Hers is annoying as all get out. You can tell she likes to perform. Ashley likes to use the word "smitten" a lot.
Ben sits down with big sis. Ben just feels right with Ashley, and sis says that Ashley is being herself. Obviously Big Sis is approving of Ben when he states he's in love with Ashley. Ben talks about laughter and it being unforced. Sister is big on laughter. Ben is ready to propose. Surprise, surprise. Ben pulls out chair for Ashley's Mom. Ben leaves and Ashley's family loves him, yet Ashley basically says her sister's opinion doesn't mean much.
Ben busts out a bright pink shirt, blue swim trunk and a fedora. He looks goofy, but if she can wear backless see through shirts then he can wear 90s surfer's clothes. To our surprise Ashley has "planned" a helicopter ride to their destination. Bachelor Brad was a big fan of helicopters. Constantine rode in a helicopter. He went home. Ben looks like Constantine....Will he go home?
They are about to get "really dirty" in a healing mud bath. Mud is apparently sexy when you're "lubing each other up with mud" HAHAHAHA. seriously? Ashley wishes she could reach lower. I don't want to get in that mud bath they've been in. There's nothing like making out in dirty water of mud.
Ben prepares for the night by chilling wine by the bed and has a tiny dessert for them to share. What a way to tell someone you love them...in bed? So romantic.. Come on ABC, couldn't you have sprung for a suite? They have "serious romantic things to talk about". Ben is looking at Ashley with is Bedroom eyes. He's so dressed up compared to Ashley in her jorts and flowy tank. Ben tells Ashley that he's asked her family for their permission to propose. He tells her he loves her. She just half smiles and kisses him. That was Ashley's perfect date. Hearing I love you, kissing, dessert, and sex?
JP also is celebrating being on the beach with color. They are drinking Fiji water in Fiji. I find that amusing. They discuss how do they explain being "us". JP looks like he's going to cry as Ashley interrogates him. Ashley wants to start a new life with JP but not just fit into his. She's once again fishing for some compliments. JP says "I'm madly in love with you". Once again Ashley responds by kissing JP. On the side of the check? I will say he was direct about it; Ben said it by "I told your family I was in love with you"
JP gives Ashley a photo album and a letter. Ewww he says "I love you Baby" JP says it's"love or nothing" I almost expect him to start singing the boy band song by Otown I think "All or Nothing"
Ashley journals about her decision. She then walks on the beach and stands by a tree as she thinks about her decision. ABC then shows Ashley making out with both of the guys. She sees Ben as a lover....
Ben showers while being filmed. He then goes to pick out a ring. Does he get to keep the ring if she says no?
JP gets to pick out a ring too. The producers make us think he's not going to propose. He's wearing terrible mandals. Both guys are then forced to look at the rings and look thoughtfully at it.
Ashley puts on more make up over her heavily made up face.
In dramatic fashion, the boys must fly to their dentist. Ashley thinks it's appropriate to get engaged in a wedding dress.
We find out that Ashley is going to break Ben's heart. I hope she doesn't let him get down on one knee. That dress is not flattering at all on Ashley. As Ben walks towards Ashley, she's giving him a terrible face. Ben talks about a new addition to the family after his dad died. He's making me so sad for him. "Well you don't have a ring on your finger" Awkward face from Ashley as she fights tears. Ben talks and doesn't let Ashley go first. He gets down on a knee and asks Ashley to marry him. She pulls him back up and says that she's sorry. She wants to talk things through. Ben's pissed and rightfully so. Ashley keeps trying to hold onto his arm, but he keeps his distance. He tells her to not sugar coat it. What did she expect? Go Ben for telling her like it is. Ashley is having a hard time with the break up. Hmmmm sorry that you dated two guys and had to break up with one. Does she not know how this works?
Ashley waves to the airplane JP is in. Ashley is ready to "take a leap of faith" with JP. Ashley doesn't want to take any chances and hold the rose as JP walks towards her. She reaches out and kisses him but she makes him walk towards her. Shouldn't she offer him the rose instead of forcing him to talk? JP wants to "take a leap of faith". Apparently they are good for each other. What a bitch....She tells him he's going to have wrinkles when he's older because he smiles all the time. If she's been so in love with him for so long....then why did she sleep with Ben? He's waited for forever to hear her say I love you. Apparently forever is a couple of months. He gets down on a knee and says "will you marry me" Damn she gets a rock. Enter cheesy 80s love music as they replay their whole romance trying to leave out the fact she boned Ben just a week earlier.
JP wins points for saying "when you said I think my husband is in this room and and thinking what the f--- is she thinking"
Well kids, that's a wrap. Will they live happily ever after? Will Ben be the next bachelor? Will anyone nominate me for the show? Only time will tell...
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