The Bachelorette, Episode 2

Well I'm not going to lie; I'm quite excited to see what Chris Harrison and the producers have planned for this week's episode.  After last season's Bachelor, I'm ready to see some fear factor style dates and helicopters.

Batman is still wearing a mask.  Geez.

William the cellphone salesman gets the first one on one.  He's dreamy.

They apparently give The Bachelorette fancy cars to drive around.  She's "so excited".  Hold up.  Short dress.  She's going to pull a Lindsey Lohan if she's not careful.  Oh look a mini plane.  How original producers...

Batman can grow a beard.  And he can wear beanies.  In 90 degree weather.

The date starts by picking out wedding cakes.  What guy would actually stay on that first date?  In the real world, he'd be fleeing the scene.  And now picking out rings.  Seriously? And now going to the chapel?  Seriously.

"This could be a legally binding marriage"  Seriously you don't have a marriage license.  No, it wouldn't be legal.  Half a date and she's falling for the cellphone salesman. Wow.  Is that a new record?
Nothing like dinner where people can walk by and watch you.

"I bring communication to people"  with the thanks to ATT....  And the first date includes tears.  Cellphone boy's dad was an alcoholic, so will she push alcohol on him?  Oh yay...Ashley's dad is an alcoholic too.  Well luckily he got a rose, or otherwise the fountains would be an awkward moment.  As would the rowboat back to shore.

Sin city is appropriate for a date.  A dancing date.  And Ashely just sneaks away... to come "through the heavens"

Constatine belongs in the 90s.  Both themes, the wedding and rose ceremony dances, seemed well like they were given to them by producers.  Lesson learned, the hair dresser can dance.  No one else in his group can dance.  Nor can anyone else actually dance.  That'd be why they only let them perform on stage for 30 seconds.

West reveals his secret about his dead wife.  He fails to mention that his mother in law blames him.
Bently is a man of great words and is the show's ass.  Every season needs one.  He'll be along for the long haul.  Their argument was stupid.  She's stupid for giving him the rose.  Dumb Ass.

"Mickey is better looking than I am"  The whole heads and tails thing gets old.  Mickey attempts to be sappy with "when is the last time you cried"  He's a real man because he cries.  I feel like these guys are wimpy.  She's takes him to a hotel.  On a first date.  Classy....
I'm not sure if Mickey knows that it's Colbie Callet singing.  I'm not sure I did either.

Kissing Mickey gets easier each time.  I wouldn't complain.  Except if my hand got stuck in his gelled hair.

We find out that Mickey is a momma's boy.  Why is that a good thing?

Batman is uncomfortable.  Well take off your beanie.  You're in Cali and it's hot.  I'd be uncomfortable too.

The rose ceremony.  aka Ashley makes out with multiple guys.
Ashley gets a dance lesson.
Batman lurks.  We find out Batman lost his short time memory and was married once.  Maybe he thinks he's really Batman.  Of course someone interrupts Batman from taking off the mask.
Ben is nervous and is talking 1000 miles a minute.  And attempting to be cute, but just continues talking way too fast.  I hope he doesn't get a rose.  I feel bad for the closed caption guys trying to keep up with that.
Bently would rather swim in pee than plan a wedding.  At least he's honest.  He grabs her ass and is make out number 3 of the night.  $20 says he makes it to the final 4.

Constatine?  Really?  He's a Hanson brother.
Nick?  The body builder? Soul Patch?
Ames?  I'm not a fan.
Lucas?  I don't even remember him
Batman?  Holy cow.  What an Idiot.
JP  "that's what I'm talking about"  finally someone I agree with.
Of course she keeps the dentists because dentists stick together?

Momma's boy goes home.  His mom will be sad to not see her son forgo his separate room.
The hair dresser is disappointed.  Aren't we all?
Ok Ryan M. Seems sweet.  I'd let him call me.  If you're reading this Ryan, holla at you're girl.

Overall I'm bored with this episode...but next weeks is hoping to be the most shocking rose ceremony ever....