Free Pass

A little over 13 months ago I started working at my current job.  I went through employee training with a kid who had been an intern for a month and was hired full time graphic designer.  In typical fashion, he lived up to the graphic designer name with long hair, hipster glasses, and awkward facial hair.  Over the past year I've said Hi to this kid when passing in the hallway, and twice I've run into him while on my lunch break.  I've sat with him and a couple of graphic designers on those said lunches.  Very surface level.

A few months ago, he saw me leaving for lunch and suggested we do lunch sometimes.  I personally enjoy eating lunch alone and reading instead of sitting with a co-worker I barely know.  Lunch is my time;  I don't really want to spend my time discussing work.  I personally thought oh great, and was thankful that he never mentioned it again.

Yesterday, this kid IMs me and informs me he can't do late lunches anymore, but wondered if he could call me sometimes.  I avoided this and changed the subject.  He pressed again for my number, and after being told he had  a girlfriend.  I'm stupid and gave in and gave him my number hoping he'd never use it.

After work I get the following message
"Hey Sara this is Creeper*.  Yay for Monday being over, eh?"  (named has been changed.  obviously)

"yes.  I'm quite ready for the weekend already"  I respond.  I'm thinking keep it short.  Be nice.  And hope he leaves me alone.

"Indeed.  However weekends r too short.  Did u know some counries actually have gone to shorter work weeks all over!? France tried like a 35 hrs/week :0 jealous"   so apparently he's wanting to give me a history lesson?


"I hear you.  I'd like a 4 day work week.  I'd even be ok working until noon on Fridays"  Maybe he's attempting to be a friend?  He's weird, but I can be nice, right?


"Ya that would b super nice.  Too bad America never looks at the rest of the world for the best way to do anything =/"  maybe he's trying to start a revolution?  I'm not sure, but he's getting weirder


"Other countries also get way more vacation days"   I can throw world studies at him too.


"Too depressing to entertain"


And that was that.  I don't respond or hear from him for over an hour.  I'm ok with that.  I thought he was maybe going to ask me out, and I'd be able to nicely say no thanks.  Then I get the following:


"So I have a rly crazy question for u... and im not sure how else to get around to it in this situation Haha. would u allow me the favor of an off the record conversation lol?"  crap  he's going to ask me to dinner, but better to get this over with, right?


"Sure"  No answer from him for a while.  And then I get this little gem:


"So, my girlfriend and I both agreed together that we each get one "free pass" to be with some1 else for one night.  (No lie!) And I was wondering if u would like to get together sometime?  I DEFINITELY didn't want offend u by being so forward, and hope to just flatter u at least!"


WTF. I can't say I ever EVER saw that coming.  
1.  I have issues believing his girlfriend would really want to have a "free pass"
2.  Why would it be ok to ask this to someone you barely know.
3.  What? Not asking me to dinner, just getting right to asking me for sex?
4.  I don't speak to anyone at work....but have they somehow confused me to be the office whore?
5.  How is that flattering?  Oh sure.  I'm glad you asked.  Let's get naked?  Thanks for thinking of me as a common whore.

I am shocked and have no clue what to say.  I'm disappointed in my answer.  Today I have lots of words for him but instead of all the great angry words I have for this dumbass, i said the following:

"Thanks, but i'm interested in someone right now and I'm not the one night stand kind of girl"  I pick this time to be polite?!  STUPID STUPID ME .  The correct answer is actually "hell no.  Are you out of your damn mind"


"I completely understand! And I figured it would be too much to ask lol.  I hope u don't think badly of me!"

no response from me

"and I for sure would've never imagined u to b the 1 night stand type."

No?  You wouldn't then why they heck did you think i'd go along with this?  What kind of girl would say yes to this?  "Golly gee of all the girls, you picked me?  How could I be so lucky?"  


Yes creeper, it is far too much to ask.  I do think badly of you, and if I could regive you my answer you better believe I would.  Now I spend my days at work avoiding running into this creeper.  Seriously how do these things happen?!

I inform my mother of this story and her response was a laugh and "See what good your boobs have done for you?"  Thanks, Mom. Thanks.

All I can say is um wow.  I honestly cannot believe that happened.