The Bachelorette, Episode 5

Well let's hope this episode is more interesting than last week's.  I wonder how many times, Ashley will discuss missing Bentley tonight.

Once again we are in a new perfect place to fall in love.  Who knew Thailand had so many perfect places to fall in love.

Smiley Ryan is smiling and optimistic as usual.  Ames has bad hair.  So far, nothing is new.  Looking over all the guys remaining, it appears Ashely really has a thing for 90s boy band hair.  Short and gelled or awkward long parted down the middle hair.

JP states "if you can't find romance in this kind of environment, then you're hopeless"  Well JP, producers sure do help create a romance when they pay for travel and dates.

Ryan wants the one on one, but Mr. Smiley does not get it.  It goes to the wine maker, Ben F.  There's a 100% chance that Ashley will get kissed today.  Once again Ashely find wedges appropriate for any date whether it be for hanging on a beach, hiking, dancing, flash mobbing, swimming, or holding hands and walking for miles on uneven pavement.

Ashely is quite over dressed for the market place.  They dig into street food....Is that really a good idea?  The date may not end well.  The couple discusses birds and paints small umbrellas that I always wanted when I was 10.  They decide to find some chairs to sit down in front of an old temple.  As Ben F. goes in for the kiss, Ashely informs Ben F that they are in sacred ground and kissing isn't allowed.  So they decide to stare awkwardly into each other's eyes and discuss having mental kisses.  Gag.  Ashely just "wants to jump on him"

They go off to dinner after Ashely changes into different wedges and the most awkward looking romper I have ever seen.  Ben F, we find out, was not emotionally available a year ago, but is now ready to take a real chance.  Enter sad story about a dad dying.  Is it just more or do a majority of the bachelors have sob stories?  Ashely can see a life with Ben F, and he obviously get a rose and serenaded by some weird Thai music and dancing ladies.  He finally gets his kiss and admits "he has giddy puppy dog love

Constatine, Ames, Nick, Blake, Lucas, Ryan, JP, and Mickey are all set for the group date.  Leaving William and Ben C on the two on one.  That sounds like a terrible date.  William is fun but requires a lot of attention and Ben C talks so fast it's hard to get a word in edge wise.

The producers have another brilliant idea for a date and puts the guys fighting one another.  This is obviously a great idea.....

Luckily, they have great pink boxing gloves for Ashley in her tiny workout gear.  Hey I have the same Target sports bra she has on.  The guys get taped up, take off their shirts, and start sweating.  Ames has never been in a fight in his life--no surprise there.  They guys are forced to do pushups and situps.  Blake's hair has not moved.  Ames, we find out, is a freaking pansy.  Guys then put on colored fighting gear.  It reminds me of 3 Ninjas for some reason.  The guys are then taking to a boxing ring and are told they will fight one another.  These guys stand out in their bright awkward colored shorts with logos across the front.

First Match:  Lucas vs Blake.  Ashley hopes they have fun and don't take it too seriously.  Um hello, guys are competitive.  Obviously this is a terrible idea.  Blake takes down Lucas.
Second Match:  Mickey vs JP.  'there's no crying mai tai"  JP is really small and Mickey beats the crap out of JP.  Ashley realizes this is a bad idea (no crap...)  JP then decides he's done getting beat up on and starts beating the crap out of Mickey and wins the round.
Third Match:  Ames vs Smiley Ryan.  Ames in the pink to no surprise punches like a girl.  Ryan throws some dirty punches.  Ames loses and is woozey afterwards.
Fourth Match: Nick vs. Constatine   We don't see much of this fight due to the fact that Ames most likely has a concussion.  Constatine wins...I think.

Ames goes off in an ambulance.  They play creepy music and they almost make it seems as if he's dead.  Ashley can't believe this blew up in her face.  Really?  I can't believe she's surprised.  Date night with no Ames back.  Ashley's in a way short dress?  romper?  and some out of place heels.  They decide to drink on without him there.

Ryan shows Ashley his battle scars.  Mickey informs Ashley that Ames is a pansy because he's never been hit before.  In walks Ames as the guys discuss if he's ok.  Ames is there overdressed, but quickly wins some one on one time alone with Ashley.  Ames is giggly like a girl and can't say much other than the fact he has a mild concussion.  Instead of a kiss, he gets a hug.

Blake "love is a marathon, not a sprint"  This talk reminds her of Bentley.
Lucas informs Ashley that he is a golfer and then attempts to teach her to golf without clubs.  Ashley was pretty turned on by this.  He brings up Bentley.  What a terrible idea.
Blake gets the surprise of the night and gets the rose.

William vs Ben C.
What?  Ashley is wearing flats?!  They pull a Tom Sawyer and are on a raft using poles to steer Ashley down a river.  William begins acting like a 14 year old boy.  William attempts to throw Ben C under the bus, and I have a feeling that's going to backfire.  He says Ben C is considering online dating.  Shockingly, she sends Ben C home right now without talking to Ben C.  He goes on his raft and sails away.
Ashely doesn't seem too into William during the date.  William is in fact a 30 year old boy.  He states he's just looking for someone to have fun with.  I feel like that sealed his fate, and he's gone.  Ashley doesn't want a boy; she wants marriage.  William goes home.  He's ego is for sure bruised, and he's right he is the "worlds biggest jackass"  Wow the downer..."his life is full of shit"  He's apparently going to slip into a dark place again and not wake up.  Someone watch that guy.

Ryan does too much of a celebratory dance when they remove William's luggage.  In dramatic fashion, ashley burns the rose.

Ryan says "rocket ship"  "i'm totally into you"  and points out that he hasn't had a one on one date.
Ashley assures Constantine that she's completely normal.
JP says she's beautiful, and she states "you, too"  Do guys want to be called beautiful?  Ashley still likes Bentley, and looks bored at the cocktail party.

Ashley sits down with her bff/therapist Chris Harrison.  She admits her stupid heart keeps going back to Bentley.  Chris should let her watch the footage of Bentley.  Chris tells Ashley like it is, and Ashley whines about "how something's there" with Bentley.  Chris is going to make something happen for her.

Rose Ceremony
Constantine ---what does she see in this guy?
Lucas, JP, Ames (rocking his 3 piece suit), Mickey, and Ryan.

Nick the body builder with the soul patch goes home.  He's tearing up. I'm digging his accent.  I just can't stand the soul patch and the hair.

Ashley informs the rest of the guys that they are headed to Hong Kong.  It looks like Bentley is in Hong Kong.  Stupid girl who thinks he's the one.  Smart guy who got a free tip to Hong Kong.  It looks like hell is breaking loose.   Who doesn't love drama?