The Bachelorette, Episode 3

Will this be the most shocking episode ever?  Probably not, but I look forward to this.  So many questions will hopefully be answered, what does Batman look like?  Will Ashley figure out Bently is a complete D-Bag?

We find out that Ben C, the fast talking Louisiana lawyer, gets to start "his journey to love" with the first one on one date.  Seriously, he talks ridiculously fast.

We find out Bently sweeps her off her feet.  Ummmm.  Ashley is a complete idiot.  Some girls never learn.
We get it ABC, Ashley dances.  Thus let's involve dancing for Ashely to show off.  It seems as if Dancing with the Stars has it's next "star" already picked out.  Apparently the latest best date idea involves making a fool of yourself and dancing for a crowd.  Dancing to no music in a grassy area that no one happens to be sitting on......not planned at all.  And ABC pulls through and out of no where comes music.

Because Ashley isn't afraid to dance on a grassy knoll "she's totally the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with"  Apparently Ben C, falls easily.  Worst flash mob ever.

Far East Movement appears out of no where.  Apparently this two-hit wonder is desperate for work.  I see a pattern of dancing and concerts this season.  Ashely apparently can't have a non-dancing husband.  I'd rather go back to the helicopters and fear factor style dates of The Bachelor.

I like their style.  Two big glasses of wine.  Oh my gosh.  Does Ben C have a slow down switch.  "blow up the roof"  I wonder how much they edited out of this date, and I wonder if Ashely got more than 4 sentences in.  Ben obviously get the rose and the kiss.  She understands everything he's saying.  I'm guessing ABC gave her a transcript to read afterwards.

Group Date.

Batman has had an amazing life changing experience.  He's losing the mask.  It's about time.  I wonder if he has a sunburn in shape of the mask.  "true love starts on the inside"  Yes Batman, wearing a mask and going on a reality TV is a great way to find true love.  He's had no real date with her, but he has feelings for her.  Anti-climatic mask reveal.  "hi ashley, i'm jeff"  No Jeff, you are Batman.  I agree with Dentist, it was ridiculously anti-climatic.

Ashely loves to laugh when she's not dancing, so it's up to the guys to make her laugh during this date.  This is a terrible idea of a date.  Roast your date.  Yes making fun of your date, is really a great idea.  Girls are never sensitive.....

Hey-o.  Batman is calling out someone about a backstreet boys outfit.  Ames is dramatic, and doesn't want to do it.  At least the boys tend to realize, that this is a delicate line to walk.  William thinks he's a great comedian and expects to do this in the future for a celebrity.  His notes say "boobs"  He may make her cry tonight.  The cellphone salesman is trying to start his comedy career instead of winning the bachelorette.  I don't blame him, cell phones have got to be boring to sell.

Lucas-attacks the guys. kind of.  I barely remember this guy, and now I remember why.
Ryan P- flops at his jokes.
Ames- obviously goes after Batman.
Ryan-by far the funniest but still does not go after Ashley.  Some roast this is.
Batman-is ready to take them on.  He starts out by telling her she's got "small tits"  Classy Batman, classy.
Soul Patch- also goes after the small boobs.  What's with making fun of small boobs?
Wino- meh joke
Guy I don't remember his name-"brad womack's leftovers"  bad idea.
Bently--60% of the guys aren't here for the right reason.  ummm speaking from the heart?  At least he says her ass makes up for her lack of boobs.  I understand Ashely....you can get that fixed.  I've got a great doctor.
Will.i.am--is more than ready for this.  And he goes in for the kill.  His jokes fall flat.  Ashley leaves pissed.  I don't blame her.  "I wish Emily was The Bachelorette" Bad idea, bad, bad idea.

Ashley is crying, and Bentley goes to "mess with her head"  What a sweet guy.....    "she's best dancer in the world"  Um yea....

Ashely reveals her insecurities.  William is almost in tears.  William is in tears.  He offers to pack up and go home.  "I'm an idiot" and walks out the door.  And to the sidewalk.  And keeps going.  While in tears.  And takes off running, and at some point sits at a bus stop.

Batman attempts to tell a sob story about his 3 legged dog.  All the guys feel bad.  This has been on hell of a downer of a date.

Ryan informs Ashely that she's the one he wanted here.  He once again looks like Tom Cruise about to jump on Oprah's couch.  Will he get the rose again.  If a boy tell you "you look gorgeous"....and awkward response is "so do you"

Ashely reveals to Bentley that she's been contacted about Bentley.  She's an idiot by not believing her friend.  She believes every word she says.  Dumb ass.  He's smiling like the cat who ate the canary.  Thankfully Ryan P aka Tom Cruise gets the rose.  Bentley decides to "be a good dad" and go home.  Bentley stay around for another trip!  Milk it for what it's worth!

For a guy she's only known roughly a week, she's shedding a few too many tears.  Bentley's commentary about kissing is hilarious.  He's an asshole, but funny.  The after the rose ceremony will be great.  "i'm worried i'll never see you again"  Ashely do you not know how this works?  He's obligated to go to the men tell all show.

JP gets the next one on one date.  He gets to go to Ashley's pad where she's been crying for two days.  Nothing like going on a date with a girl crying over someone else.  They have take out.  Compared to all the other dates, JP got screwed.  No trip, no fine dining, no fancy clothes.  This is the most realistic date on the history of the Bachelor/ette.  She's a girl after my own heart.  She wants to put on sweat pants.

How'd he pack for this date?  Oh yeah, we need you to bring PJs.  JP gets the rose.  They make out in front of the fire place.  I actually give this date a thumbs up.  He's wearing his rose on a white tshirt.  Classy...

Rose Ceremony--too shiney of a dress/necklace combo.  Not Ashley's best look.  Chris tried to talk some sense into Ashley because let's be honest.  If Ashley leaves then ABC is screwed.  Ashely decides no cocktail party is needed.

Wine guy is wearing a bow tie.  I like him more now.
Ames looks awkwardly tan.

She must really have a thing for vampires if Constatine is getting a rose.
West, Mickey,  Ben F rocking the bow tie, fellow dentist Blake, soul patch Nick, too tan Ames, Lucas.

It comes down to Batman and William and the guy I don't remember his name.  Cutie William gets the rose.  Wow Batman and that other guy must feel horribly about themselves.

Oh Chris D.  Yes girls sometimes like Assholes.  It happens.  She'll learn.
Dramatic Batman burns his mask at the producers request.

Dramatic?  Not really; Somewhat interesting...yes.  They luck out on a trip to Thailand.  I hope no one gets food poisoning.