The Bachelorette, Episode 4

Well it looks like they crew is off to Phuket, Thailand.  Funny, producers.  Let's see if Ashely can get over the ... Bentley left her with.

Chris tells the home boys "that you can see just how serious Ashely is about this."  As serious as dating 10 guys can get.  We find out that the boys are leaving the mansion forever.  When did The Bachelor/ette show become tour the world?  And is it just me or do they guys seem really excited?  Don't get me wrong, a trip touring the world on someone else's dime is awesome, but how many of you actually knew anything about Phuket? Anyways, chest bumps all around.  Let's head to Thailand!

Ashley's riding on a boat in a bikini that would make almost anyone throw up.  Obviously she's not over Bentley.  Let's question the dentist's taste in men if she fell for that guy so quickly.

Ames, "there's no better place to start over than in Thailand"  Good to know...

Constatine gets the first one on one date.  Is it just me, or does everyone else forget about this Vampire named guy?  Oh no.  He wear adidas slide on sandals.  Those have got to go.  They belong in the 90s with his hair cut.

Today's date out to a private beach is canceled.  At least we think it is, seeing that the boat guy doesn't appear to speak English.  Constatine suggests going shopping for the ugliest Hawaiian shirts.  Um Constatine, you are in Thailand.  Not a Hawaiian island.  He also suggests talking with the locals.  And luckily, a translator just so happens to be walking by.

We find out that Love isn't about winning.  They are on a game show.  Hmmmm that should be a tip that maybe no one is going to find love.  This date seems awkward and Ashely doesn't seem to be too into it.

We find that Constatine is trying out being the "new him"  Seriously this date is so boring.  I'm just waiting for a pop star to pop up and sing a song.  Also Ashley's ring looks like a gigantic blue bug on her hand.  Constatine gets a rose.  She must have a thing for 90s boy band members.

And just like that "hopeless ashley is hopeful again"

The boys share kissing stories.  They are all finding out they've all kissed the same girl.  Shocking seeing that they are all dating the same person.

Group Date.....Ashley once again is channeling Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island.  The whole crew is painting an orphanage.  The Bachelorette gives back.

JP is so amazed that Ashley wants to give back.  JP, she may be a nice person, but odds are this was planned out by producers.

Apparently Ryan (Tom Cruise) is a little much.  I get it.  Just like Tom Cruise, he seems awesome but the more he's around, he's a crazy couch jumping attention getting, annoying guy.

Enough working, let's go to the pool!  and find cocktails!  Who really wears heels and wedges with their bikinis?  Is this a trend I should be following?

Ben F. says buzzin' a few times and gets the kiss.

We find out that Ryan gets along with guys.  Ashley says there's a connection.

JP goes in for the kiss.  I dig him.  Apparently he's magical and gives the best kisses by far.  The guys don't like him carrying her back.  He's not going anywhere.

Ryan is becoming more and more of a D-bag as he steals Ashely away to say stupid things to her.  I think he's boarding the train to friendship.  He smiles like a Cheshire Cat until Ben F. gets the rose.  Score the guy that wears a bow tie.

Dentist is getting frustrated.  And we didn't hear much from William.  I'm guessing he's scared to say much after last week's roast.  Lucas thinks he's ok.  I keep forgetting about him.

Awkward Ames gets the other one on one.  He awkwardly jogs towards her.   Ames actually has been to Phuket alone.  Maybe that's where he got his tan.  No, that's where he went to cooking school.  He's surprisingly interesting.  hahahah On a boat.  Ashley puts her arms out like she's on the Titanic.

They get into a tiny kayak.   They go into caves.  There are no life jackets.  This date sounds terrible.  Leave it to Ames to relate the experience to a relationship.  All I've heard Ames is say "this is amazing". They are eating some terrible looking food on a rocky beach. while drinking Champagne.  And she mentions Bentley.  I should totally keep a Bentley count.

They go to dinner and Ashely is dressed in a way short skirt.  She's going to pull a Brittany if she doesn't watch out.  Ames is cheesy.  They apparently are both "nerdy"  I now realize I need to stop referring to myself as nerdy.  Ames gets  a rose.  I have no idea why.  "only she can offer such a rose delivery"  I would've taken the rose right back.  He gets no kiss.

I have to admit.  The Bachelor is far more interesting.  This show has been seemingly unexciting.

Rose Cocktail Party/Ceremony

West is in a completely different place and is ready to move on from being a widower.  oooo.  Ashley calls him a "really nice guy"  I feel like that's his death sentence.

Lucas is divorced, and he too, is ready to move on.  He wants to find an "awesome woman"  He's not the type of guy who gives up on anything, ever.  Well it seems as if he's given up on a marriage...

Blake confronts Ryan "who is freaking happy a lot and sorry he isn't grumpy"  Oh my.  Seriously it's just like Tom Cruise.  Not Top Gun Tom Cruise, the crazy one we all fear today.

"i'm bursting with a lot of love in my chest"  Seriously.  Someone please hit him on the head.

No words from Mickey or William tonight.  Or from the Louisiana fast talk lawyer.

Chris Harrison sits down with Ashely and brings up Bentley.  Seriously, I'm ready for the final rose.  She doesn't want to move on.  "The potential was so great"  The guy didn't like her at all.  Ashley decides to add a rose to the ceremony.  Chris makes the extra rose happen.  Do you think Chris ever gets sick of his job?

The three that have the roses are quite the motley crew.  William has a deer in the head lights look.  Only one guy goes home.

Lucas gives a "wahoo" and gets a rose.
Crazy Ryan gets a rose.
JP gets a rose.  I think he's going far in this show.
Nick gets a rose which is surprising.  He didn't get much air time and he has a soul patch, and yes I hold that against him.
Mickey "oh mickey you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind, hey mickey"  I wonder if she sings that each time in her head.
Blake.  Obviously she keeps the fellow dentist.  Maybe they'll open up a family dentistry.
William gets a rose.
Leave the fast talking Louisiana lawyer and West the guy who may or may not have killed his wife.

Ben C get the rose and West goes home.

Lesson learned..."really nice guy" is your death sentence on The Bachelorette.  On the bright side, he got a cool trip out of the deal.  He let it "all hang out"  I may have giggled on that.

Next week, they find yet another "perfect place to fall in love" and over use the words beautiful and perfect.  And some of the guys beat each other up.  Yes producers, roasts and boxing matches are great date ideas.  She mentions Bentley...again.  And he's possibly back in the hotel again.  Or maybe it's Bachelor Brad.

Nick we find out does pushups with Ashley on his back. And awkwardly takes her over to a cold hot tub in order to flex his muscles.  JP makes me laugh at the fact he find this so funny.

Well perhaps next week will be more exciting than tonight's boring dates.