Okay so I missed my update on the first episode, but let me just say the producers on The Bachelor were scrapping the bottom of the barrel of applicants for this season. It's a shame too, because Ben is cute. If I were single, I think I could have totally rocked this season. Producers have too much say in the show because of the crazies that got roses. Also I apparently missed out on the less of how to push up your boobs in any terrible evening gown.
Anyway....episode two...Let the drama begin!
Ben brings the ladies out to Sonoma. Probably to meet that little dog of his. The girls hop in convertibles and start drinking. Drinking is a must. This is a good opportunity to show off that Ben has a mansion. Just kidding, it's a rental. He wishes his dad could meet these woman. That's a lie. Really Ben? I think your Dad would be disappointed.
One girl asks if this is real life. Maybe she's seen too much David after the dentist.
Kacie B gets ready for the first date. She seems pretty and normal. The model informs the camera that she wants Kacie to go home. The model is my vote to be most like Crazy Ass Michelle.
The couple drives too a ghost town of sonoma. Seriously no cars parked anywhere. This can't be normal. Ben plays tour guide, and then takes her to play the piano. Apparently the budget was non existent for this date. They go shopping and buy a lunch box. Casey is already "herself". She steals a baton and attempts to woo him with her twirling skills. So far the budget for this date was $35. $20 of that went towards gas for that thing he's driving.
"it's like we're the only two people on earth" Really you are the only two people in this ghost town. This TN girl actually seems like a good match for Ben.
The other girls get a date card. Blakely is going to also be a potential Crazy Ass Michelle. She doesn't get the whole concept of the show where you are forced to go on dates with multiple people.
Kacie no surprise gets a date and a smooch. Ben has a surprise. Well it's about time producers. This was disappointing. Who is it going to be? What up and coming artist or movie gets a plug? Oh. Disappointing. It's videos of Kacie as a child. Then there are videos of Ben as a child. This is slightly weird for a first date. Both in tears....What a first date.
Group Date. Ben was 12 women on that date and he's correct "that's a lot of pairs of legs" He tells they girls that they are going to be doing a play. Bahahaha their girls are speechless to find out that the playwrights are children. The girls "audition" for their parts. Grandma's girl doesn't know what a hippie is. The blogger also has no clue. The kids make Blakely in her stripped romper has her boobs for all to see. The boy child says "she did good"
The model is really bitchy. She says she really has a connection with Ben back home.
Blogger Jenna is a wizard complete with a beard. Jaclyn is a princess nd seems like a drink. Blakely to her dismay has to cover up her tatas with a gingerbread costume. Ben surprises the girls with the fact that they are actually performing for a crowd. Monica the bisexual was a dragon is weird. Ben then oddly has to strip down to almost nothing. Kids wrote this?!?!
Play's done. Let's drink! Rachel the fashion buyer has terrible bangs. The other girls sit around looking at the rose. Samantha may be a drunk. Blakely has a sweet arm tattoo. Ben thinks everyone really likes Blakely the VIP Cocktail Waitress. I think that means Vegas Hooker. Who specializes in terrible dangly claire's earrings.
Samantha is "so over Blakely" thus is hiding in the bathroom. Good plan there, girlfriend. Once again these girls don't understand the game.
Date Card--Courtney the model gets the other one on one date with Ben. She's a complete bitch and rubs it in the other girls friends.
Back at the big group date. The girls drink more and strip down to bikinis to reveal sweet tramp stamps. The fake red head Jennifer mentions 40 times "how much this place reminds her of home" and then goes in for the make out. Blakely goes into kill mode because she's a scorpio and apparently a great lover. Blakely accepts the rose and all the other girls are attempting to kill her with their looks. The other girls cry. Apparently putting yourself out there is small talk and making out in bikinis.
Date 3 with Courtney includes Ben's dog Scotch. Blakely and Courtney are up for biggest bitches of the show. Ben plays forest tour guide. Picnic time. Really the budget for this season is small. Courtney tries to play the poor "I'm pretty and no one asks me out" card. Then he drives her around on a tractor around a wineary that's been lit up with candles. Poor intern that had to set all of that up. Ben keeps asking if "she's too good to be true" Yes, yes she is. She's a bitch. We find out that Ben was a drunk in college. Model gets the rose. Let's be honest. She goes far. He wants her naked.
Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony
The dresses seem somewhat better than the first night. I spot a jcrew dress on Kacie B. Blakely has skank hooker long earrings again on. Lindzi (yes her name is spelled like a hooker) she gets alone time despite not getting a date. They are both apparently tractor people. She drives a truck. She apparently likes to dress down despite looking like a flamingo.
Samantha the bathroom girl from the group date finally gets some alone time. She hates drama but is nearly in tears. Blakeley interrupts the one on one time to bring Ben a drink. HAHAHA They gave Blakeley the nickname Jugs. Blakeley then again interrupts another one on one date.
Jacklyn looks like a sorority sister of mine that was a drunk. I can't remember her name. She'll be great on Bachelor Pad. Actually so will Blakely.
Blogger girl Jenna also gets one on one time. Things are a big mess; She almost sets a blanket on fire by putting it on a candle. This is awkward. She feels like she's a guy. Honey, that's not what you tell a guy. She goes off to cry in a bedroom. Get a grip girl.
Blakeley is schammered and is upset everyone is talking about her. Jaclyn may not be cute, but she's got the most sense out of all of them. Blakeley goes to cry among suitcases. Luckily they cover up her dress; she's kneeling down and would be pulling off a lindsey if they weren't there.
Grandma's girl and Nurse girl aren't happy. Ben decides to go off to find crying Blakeley. He's realizing she's crazy. And then he's off to find Jenna crying in bed. What an awkward night.
Finally....Roses.
Kacie B, Courtney, and Blakeley already have roses.
Jennifer the fake red head gets a rose. making out in a bikini does wonders.
Emily the blonde working on her PHD was rather quiet this episode
Elyse gets a rose. She's a bit much for me. Too light of lipstick and too much tanning bed
Jaclyn--my favorite drunk with common sense gets a rose (actually this surprises me)
Erika gets a rose. She played a weasel in the play.
Rachel-the bad bangs blonde get a rose. I'm not a fan.
Lindsey the truck driving horse riding girl gets a rose.
Nicki gets a rose. She needs help with her hair.
Casey S gets a rose. I honestly don't recall her at all.
Samantha gets a rose probably for coming out of the bathroom (way cute black dress)
Monica the bisexual gets a rose.
Jamie the nurse gets a rose who said she wasn't sure she could stick this out.
Last rose goes to: Brittany--grandma's girl.
Blogger Jenna tearfully goes home and that girl with the skank blonde hair with the brown underneath it that wore the terrible green dress last week goes home. Girls don't cry. You are better off. and Jenna stop holding your boobs. Jenna "deserves love" (honey, don't we all?)
Remember if you go crazy crying on TV, people will see this. You may not get dates for a long time.
After saving pennies this week, Ben and girls are off to San Fran. Ben's other home town apparently. It seems that there is more of a budget for next week's date. There is drama ahead, I'm sure, and apparently next week a new girl comes in and someone passes out.
OH joy! Until next week!
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